word

I have come to learn that most words people use I don't think are real. This is because of various reasons.

Sometimes it just strikes me that a word...is funny. It's just random sounds. And although I know the intended meaning, I can't seem to get over the fact that it doesn't seem like the words around it. I get a reality check on what language is--various sounds understood widely to convey meaning. It creeps me out to feel that what we depend on as a society to communicate and function is completely fabricated and so borderline to nonsense. It's as if I am that close to being completely useless and helpless in this society, if only I had the barrier between my thoughts and language or between sounds and processing. How much of our brain is really accomplishing this? It can't be much. Perhaps this is a factor of autism.

Sometimes I just don't...get a word. "How could that, of all things, be a word? Why is it even in our language?"

A lot of times I just don't believe in a word. Not morally, not physically, not conceptually (I don't even know the exact definition of this word, but I am SURE it fits here), not socially. I just don't think it should ever be used. And I think that the world is better off without it and I decide not to believe in it. If someone says it, then I remark to myself, "Pffft! That's not a word!" And these aren't cuss words, if that was the line of thinking you were following, a lot of times those fit more into the first category. These are words like "unique". It's so overused, misused and unjustifiably used that it has been thrown out of my vocabulary. I refuse to say it (this would be the one exception.)

Words...what a joke. I laugh in the face of words. Come to think of it, words don't even have faces. They are such cowards that they can't even look me in the eye and tell me what they mean and why they are here and if they are necessary. Words are a figment of our imagination, get real!

The telekinetic communication age will be much more efficient and less confusing.

lies! they're all lies!

Lies.

Is it really that bad to lie?

What constitutes a lie anyhow? If I asked a question and one did not answer, would it still be a lie? You did not tell me the truth, is it therefore a lie? Is a lie knowing the answer and not saying it? Is it called a lie if you only say partial truth and don't specify on the rest well knowing?

A person who is completely silent can be a liar, can they not?

Does it depend on the guilt one has? It can't be that, for what if a compulsive liar feels no guilt for their lie? Is it still not a lie? Maybe it's, from a normal standpoint, the amount of guilt a moral person would have for this lie under the circumstances and knowledge had when the "lie" was made. (For instance, if I as a child had said that I liked marshmallow peeps, but later on despised them, it would not be a lie, only a misconception.) But that is nearly impossible to gauge.

Should an ignorant person be chastised for lies when they are only overconfident and know no better? If they should be then the human race is a group of horrible compulsive liars. Is there even any religious group who specifically recognizes lying as a sin? I'm not sure, someone help me out with your worldly knowledge.

Personally, I think I have cut down on lying. I do not see reason on most occasions to lie. I think I rarely just "lie for the heck of it". Who lies like that? Weirdos that's who. If I lie, it's to keep myself out of trouble (trouble caused by myself or trouble directed towards myself.) Sometimes I lie to myself. That one is kind tricky, but it can be done. Sometimes I lie to help out a friend in defense to or from authority or peers. Sometimes I lie for my own major convenience in relation to the other side's nonexistent inconvenience. ("Did you turn in your paperwork to the office?" "Yes.") I lie in the sense that sometimes I do not tell the whole truth to people I am talking to when they think I am spilling my guts to them. So, said in this way it sounds like I lie a lot. But the thing is that I do not consider them lies. I consider them living. What is life if you only state true facts and few opinions? All opinions are lies in some way, how could they be true if only so many people agree? How is "truth" defined anyway? Is there a truth fairy? (lol I'm sure it's been done don't praise me) I rarely ever state facts frankly, everything that spews out of my mouth is rhetorical or theoretical questions and opinions.

So yes, I am a compulsive liar. And I love it. Do I feel pride? guilt? Yes, yes.

why i don't capitalize titles

Titles already have enough emphasis put upon them. First of all, they are the first thing that is seen in the piece of work, appearing first, and on top. Second of all, on a blog such as this they are appeared bigger and in a more visually interesting color. Third of all, I do not want to be too forceful in anything said in a title for it is not a separate point that is being made, especially in a longer post or work. It is only restating the most interesting or hilarious phrase or it is summarizing the entirety of the work with different word choice than the work itself. Fourth of all, I want to be weird and modern and slightly informal and eccentric. And I want to have a trend and stick with it. So unless I want to go back and change all of these titles, the deed is done and there's no changing it! If you can't fault or beat your own system then continue taking part in it.

The only part I disagree with myself on is the fact that I do not capitalize the word "I" in titles. It bugs me, but I know that it would bug me more if I left it the only word capitalized around all those lower-case letters. It would make me want to capitalize the first, and then the entire system would be screwed!

As an added bonus, if I put a title in all caps then you will KNOW I mean business. If you did not know that, then I am warning you now...capitalization means important stuff in title land.

I am rambling...but some things just must be addressed! No, no, I know I've become a fanatic blogger it part. No need to tell me I swear! I only want to live and ramble! If you want to avoid my rambling then never ever read the last paragraph of my posts! (They are almost always rambling about something or an attempt at a bad joke or completely unrelated anyway.) Look at me, I'm rambling about rambling. That's most likely why I feel inclined to keep on doing so, it seems such a waste to stop now. And the more I mention it within the text the more ridiculous it becomes! Oh dear now I'll never stop! Oh look I just did. Oh wait, I'm still going. Wait no I'm running out of steam...yes...right about....now. Dammit...now.

Somehow, other people think that upper-case letters are more neutral than lower-case. It makes no sense. Lower-cases are must more common in writing that upper-cases. Do they use upper-case more often because of this? The few makes it more important? Supply and Demand? What are we talking here? This does not apply in this context! Scrabble tiles, alphabet soup, letter of the day on sesame street show the capitalized version first, the was my English teacher writes on the whiteboard, it's all capitals all the time. OOH LOOK! LOOK HOW OBNOXIOUS AND BIG I AM! LOOK AT HOW MY INNER MONOLOGUE IS SCREAMING. EVERYTHING I DO IS IMPORTANT SO I'LL JUST WRITE EVERYTHING CAPITALIZED. CAPS LOCK IS MY FIANCE. I TAPED THAT BUTTON DOWN.

Get a life, people. Put your titles in lower case, it will make the world a better place. =)

poetic mindset

Inner monologue the other day: "An empty blue hallway. Six blue doors open simultaneously, and out they come. The people are going to their jobs, in their clothes. The dead cat on the sidewalk is trampled by their incoming shoes. Lights come into sight over the top of the hill, and through mist a roaring mass appears. The bus is desolate. The driver still yet announces location. Ambition and purpose, meaning and attempt is no longer relevant. It's just them, on their bus, going to their job, in their clothes."

I know what you're thinking, I must have been depressed when I was on the bus. I don't think so though, I was just being cynical and entertaining myself with what I saw in an internally verbally descriptive way.

delayed interpretation

There are some things that you do not question. There are some things you have gotten so accustomed to from your entire life that are so familiar that even if they are not entirely understood, you're never shocked by them. The Star Spangled Banner is one of those things. I don't think I ever have tried to understand why they are saying the things that they are in the song, but I have now. I don't know why I began thinking about it, but I did.

"Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

I never really saw the true patriotism in the lyrics. I never saw the pride and the happiness the author must have had. The last line is truly poetic. The image of a giant flag waving over the entire country, land of the free and home of the brave, is so inspiring and fantastical.

I've had pride in my school before, sometimes even my city, but never for my country. And I'm not saying I do now, but how could one not have any shred of patriotism for their country? On some level, even if I know the entire world hates the United States and that we are in an unjustified war and our economy is plummeting to the unfathomable deep, I see the aim when the country started, and I respect it. There are a lot of things and people I completely disagree with, but do honestly respect. And I think the emphasis on war in the Star Spangled Banner is a little unsettling in theory, but puts such a nice spin and view of it that it's OK.

At the minimum, I respect the author.

It's kind of a shame how lackadaisical so many Americans, including myself, are about their country. Sure, we may have good reason, or maybe it is influenced by the fact that so many of us are only 1st or 2nd generation Americans, but is it not righteous to root for your team even though it is a cheating, obese, oil guzzling team? Although the fact that so many different cultures are able to come together in "peace" and "harmony" is what emphasizes so much pride in our "free" country.

At the most, I love my country.

self explanitory long sentence

Because of the restricting and concise essay format that my English teacher is insisting on, my only option is to manipulate my writing style to adhere to long, complicated sentences in order to fit all the ideas into my essay that I want to, and which he insists on receiving if he so will give me a good grade.

I feel like Charles Dickens with all these commas and semicolons and m dashes. For I must only have two "commentary sentences" proceeding a "concrete detail". And to do this I must dehydrate my wording which kills my writing style and "voice"! (Which English teachers go on and on and on about.) Also, I have much more than two ideas connected to each "concrete detail" because I am just deep and amazing in that way!

So how do I tolerate this format? I cram as much as I can into English language and be so annoyingly concise and deep and sickeningly detailed and never-endingly descriptive that he'll BEG me to use more sentences for the following essay! It'll work right? Or will I just become so adapted to the style that I take it up permanently? *shivers* Please tell me if I start doing this!!!

I may post it here when I finish, which shall be quite soon. I think it's turning out pretty well considering the circumstances.

this is my friend "im"

im does not know how to use apostrophes.

Nor can he ever capitalize anything correctly.

im is friends with lots of people who use Myspace and chat and comment on Youtube videos. im doesn't like it when people use correct punctuation, grammar and spelling because it makes im feel like he is stupid.

The trolls don't like im. And im does not like the trolls.

This is im, I'd like you to meet him.