I love the feeling that I am starting a new chapter in my life. Whenever I am starting something that gives me the opportunity to alter myself or my life, it gives me a great sense of establishment. It allows me to look at my entire life leading up to this point, and decide how I want to spend the next part of it, and if I should change something. In this way, I am attempting to always look forward. I never want the blank space between the chapters to be very long, because this means I am lost, and I don't know what to write.
It feels like I am in a constant state of transition between one thing and the next, but this doesn't produce a positive mindset. If I thought that, then I would have no direction, because I wouldn't know what I was transitioning to. If there is barely any blank space between the chapters, or maybe none at all, then I have already started my new chapter, and I must decide what to do with it right away.
A new chapter is usually defined by a new school quarter, relationship, project, opportunity, or state of mind. (The state of mind is always required for a new chapter, but it is only self aware in some circumstances.) The reason I'm thinking about this is because I am concerned about my blank space. I think that I started a new chapter without planning, and I still don't know what to write. I have ideas, lots of ideas, but it's hard to decide which to follow. How can I write a sensible plot without a plan?
Do I need a plan? At this point I have lots of ideas about school and relationships and projects, but I am completely unsure of what my state of mind should be. In other chapter beginnings, I was content with the excitement of the new opportunity for my focus. My intent was to explore the opportunities to the best of my ability. For some reason, that excitement is not enough this time, and I still feel like I have no direction.
It's difficult when I don't have some of the characters as in the last chapter, and I have to decide if others are worth to be in my story. New characters are hard to come by, but I think that's what I need. Instead of choosing from opportunities in front of me to give my life direction, I will create new ones by meeting new people and having new experiences.
