antiquated vernacular

Often I use archaic and obscure language in modern settings to convince people of my respectfulness or sound more sophisticated than the meaning of my words is actually conveying. Some examples of such would be similar to this:

"Over yonder, I presume" as opposed to "Somewher over ther I THINK"

"Excuse me young gentleman, could I trouble you for the time?" in substitution for "Er um, shit forgot my watch! Hey, you, uh what time it be?"

"As do I" instead of "Yeah I know right?"

"Indeed", "How true", or "Indubitably" in place of "Yerp"

The funniest thing is when I mix in one sentence some wannabe ghetto terms or speaking styles with the inaccurate Shakespearean language. It takes some deciphering to comprehend meaning as I am not using usual terms consistently. Even more so when chatting online I can mix these two English language variants with 1337 speak; num83r5 1n p14c3 0f 13773r5, mssng vwls, and acronyms (lol). Taken to the level of pure incomprehension, I am known to throw in a spanish word every now and then to make it even more confusing. This takes superior brain power, and often I get annoyed at even myself for the odd image and character I am creating with the wirting style.

Has your bubble been burst? I am not a perfectionist, overly descriptive, precise or an informative writer. Or am I? I enjoy manipulating language. This can be executed various ways; one of which is to convey the meaning that I have to say, but do it is a long and entertaining way filled with my stream of consciousness on the subject, which you have seen on this blog. Another way to manipulate language is as such being described throughout this post, making people work for your meaning and being as eccentric as possible to make the normal things said be found newfoundly and unnecessarily interesting. (Not to mention the words I just plainly make up, hence newfoundly.)

That will be all. For now muahaha.