sketching and perfectionism

I didn't know I could draw!

Sometimes it's great finding something like that out, but it just kind of adds to the blur of things about myself. Why does it matter?

Just kidding, I'm not going to be that emo.

I never was a perfectionist, but somehow I seem to be when drawing.

I've always thought that to continue with whatever you are doing whether it be making an argument or playing minesweeper, that you have to have a real trust in yourself that everything you have done before that point is perfectly done. Because if it is not, then what you are basing your next moves on are false, and you will end up screwing yourself up.

I don't feel this way about essays, I can't stand doing any kind of pre-write that makes even the slightest logical sense. I just start writing, knowing that I can go back, mess around with wording and order of ideas, and completely change my thesis any time I want.

But with drawing, I NEED for THAT line to be the PERFECT amount curved (especially when I am doing a realistic drawing with a model, which is the only kind I can manage to do). But also, I can't always do that right from the beginning, because there will be no way to base that line's characteristic in relation to the now, non-existent others. That is why I look at the object for awhile before touching my pencil to paper, close one eye, and wave my finger in the air, getting a feel for the first few lines I will attempt to draw.

I take it slow, that's how I do it.