no connotation, just wondering

I am often a manipulative person. I know I am frequently this way in conversation, but I can't be too sure about otherwise. Things I ask often have double, perhaps triple meanings. I ask things just to see what someone's answer is. I say things being both sarcastic and sincere, both joking and serious, both mocking and with contemplative repetitiveness, both truthful and false, and both belittling and respectful--both in my actual understanding of what I said and in how one would interpret what it is that I said. I mislead people with my wording and expressions to get the information that I want without admitting or denying anything.

And to be frank I enjoy it. Is it that I like feeling superior? Well, that is true with everyone, so that may be some degree of it. But I don't feel that superiority is a constant life source or habit or fetish or compulsion that I depend on. It's just fun every once in awhile to see someone squirm under your control. Able to see how your slight, or radical for the matter, difference of words or gestures have a direct impact on their reaction (especially if they are outrageous). Will this lead to--dare I say it?--sadism?

It's a bit correlating to the age old resolution to make someone stop bullying or tormenting or annoying you. Stop reacting to their actions, and they will eventually lose interest in doing these things. You could argue that if people did not want me to manipulate them then they shouldn't have acted unusually confused or shocked by something normal (well at least for me) I said. For this is what usually triggers the manipulatism in that relationship. They could just stop speaking all together couldn't they? Well yes, but this view is quite biased to myself.

My reason for doing this is partially to annoy them, see their reaction; whether it be shyness or confusion or praise for my understanding of how our conversation came to be what it was. But mostly, it is because I am testing them. I am seeing if they can weasel out of my traps and wordplay and sarcasm and theoretical and suggestive and rhetorical questions and only metaphorically related comments. If they have accomplished this then it makes for a very entertaining conversation, and I have started to respect this person. In good discussion there has to be the element of knowing what the other person will say and trying to throw them off so that you are sure they do not know what you are going to say. (Unless of course it is your catch phrase or inside joke, then by all means take part in saying it to make a break from intense dialogue and make the two of you laugh.) A certain amount of familiarity to normal phrases and word order fitting to an individual is unavoidable, but you want to keep the ideas slightly obscure and taking opposite directions in ideas.

I was about to go off on a tangent about respect, but then got, quite ironically, the opposite of side-tracked. It is rare, maybe unheard of, for me to all-around respect a person. I mean how could one respect a single person in every way? It's rare that I go out of my way and think "Wow, I deeply respect this person." But when that does happen, I usually don't agree with their values or sometimes with their view of life. Sometimes I don't agree with their fashion, conversation, thought process or socializing style, but I respect it. I respect it not in the sense necessarily that I think they are good and that I would enjoy having them. I respect that what they do will bring them joy and those around them joy in their life. They know where their values lie, and really do have a reasonable and wholesome set of them, and act under those values. If they have gotten to a good place in their lives and mental state under these values then I respect the ones that they have chosen.

NOTE: Attempting confusion should only rarely involve completely unrelated content, or plainly nonsensical words or sentence structures to throw off your confusee. At that point it is no longer hilarious that you are able to confuse them, it is just cruel. If you do that, then the conversation should immediately (with a given awkward silence) there after come to a close with "I'm just messing with you!" See? I'm not too cruel, nor do I engage in this type of entertainment on a regular basis.